Rat invasion

The rats are coming to get you, Barbara.

A lot of my friends are rats, and they are very insulted by the idea that a recession will bring out more rats. Nevertheless, I hear chatter, and the rats do plan to invade according my sources. Surprisingly there are a lot of rats in the rat population.

ABC News story of pending rat invasion.

Zombie attack plan

I are a college student :P

The Columbus Dispatch reported that the University of Florida has an emergency plan in case of zombie attack.

Too bad the PDF link is no longer there :(

Now what will they do?

Spiders are terrific pigs

We should all take it as a lesson that animals and insect are not to be "kept." When you fill your dwelling with creepy crawlies that are potentially deadly, you stand a chance of being devoured by your "pets."

And that's just what happened.

A 30 year old German man named Mark Voegel was bitten by his black widow spider, then found over a week later with his household insects and reptiles picnicking on and apartment-squatting in his remains. Yum.

Humans are murderers

A tear, a very rare tear escaped my eye when I saw this story. This poor little "monster" or "alien" was just an unknown creature to some boys in Panama. The teenagers decided it was a strange enough creature to them that they should stone it to death.
That's right, kids; when you see something, and you don't know what it is - it is imperative that you stone it to death. Unknown creatures are ALWAYS dangerous.
As it turns out the creature is very likely a deformed, hairless sloth.

The picture shown is a happy sloth. I couldn't bring myself to post the dead body of a poor murdered creature. You'll find it in the article.

School's out for vampires

Boston Latin High School is trying to quell rumors there are vampires among their students.

The article reads like a bad rumor. Very few facts, and lots of hearsay. Somebody was arrested, somebody was bitten, blah blah blah. The headmaster is an anti-zombite who won't acknowledge that vampires are students too. But people have more to learn.

Read the article.

Attack of the plush bears

A wild animal is a wild animal. You can’t tame a bear for long. Their grizzly instincts will emerge sooner or later. Even Teddy Bears can be killers. More than 800,000 killer Teddy Bears have escaped, and the “owners” are hoping they are returned before they hurt anyone.

Click for article ;)

Spider bite man follow-up

What a jerk! Maybe he was in the right condition in the first place. The spider made a mistake by giving him his legs back. The man who lost his ability to walk, and had it returned after a spider bite has been arrested for domestic violence! JERKWAD!!!

Dragon attack

A park ranger in Indonesia was attacked by a komodo dragon who climbed in his window. We are to believe the attack was unprovoked, but I bet the man tried to steal his gold.

Click for more.