Zombie attack plan

I are a college student :P

The Columbus Dispatch reported that the University of Florida has an emergency plan in case of zombie attack.

Too bad the PDF link is no longer there :(

Now what will they do?

Zombie attack to collapse civilization

He's not all that smart, but this zombie is a handsome dude.

I know some zombies, and they are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. Take Betty Bones, for instance. Just a tad tardy to the smarts meetings. My point is, there's really not much to worry about when scientists say a zombie attack could destroy civilization. Follow the rules of the George Romero zombies. That's closer to the truth.

The thing is they are not really all that infectious. Sure they can bite you, but they only want you for your brains. Most humans act like idiots with no brains anyway. You're most likely safe from the zombie apocalypse.

You can read the claim here at current.com.

Zombie spiders

Do you need any more proof that spiders may be the most fantastic creatures ever? Now, scientist have found these spiders that “resurrect” after “drowning.”

Click for link.

Hooray for the undead spiders!

Enough zombie traffic already

Well, apparently these zombie traffic hoaxes have become the new trendy prank. It’s not as funny anymore. We know that humans don’t yield to zombies while driving anyway.

But if you are keeping count… clicky.

IDiOT Message Board

The zombies have made their way to Illinois., but instead of “Daily lane closures due to zombies,” this traffic sign reads, “Daily lane closers due to zombies.” The evidence here is overwhelming.The pranksters this time were actually zombies!

Here’s the very succinct article.

Either that or the IDOT message board was fiddled with by an IDiOT :P

Think Zombies can spell? I present exhibit A.

Zombie cover up

A recent Austin, Texas invasion by zombies has been covered up as a hacker’s hoax. I don't know what they did with all the zombies, but I bet they ate the brains of some locals.

Humorous article and video here.

Cracked is whack with their lists

I was alerted to this list on cracked.com earlier today. It lists “6 Bizarre Real World Versions of Fictional Monsters.” Little do they know (obviously) that there are players and poseurs , and there are fictional characters, but then there are the real things.
The list is amusing nonetheless. Worth a look see. First on the list is vampires, so I'm not sure if that should be an insult or compliment. Maybe Ian Fortey needs a nibble.

He also lists zombies. I wonder what Betty Bones would think. And Frankenstein. Abby Cadaver probably wouldn't care either way. And last on the list is demons. My own little sister, DeMonica is a demon. She seems to think that since she’s last on the list it means she’s considered to be the least pretentious. Let her go on thinking that.

Anti-zombites can change

Well, I’m flabbergasted. Recently I got a comment on one of my posts from an editor to one of the columns to which I linked. That was a pretty weird sentence. Glad I don’t have an editor to get on my case about it. I thought that would be that, and I could go on in my solitude, simply sending a few articles your way. It’s not the way life goes (or the way unlife goes).
The columnist has decided to write a follow-up, and I must commend her for her efforts. This anti-zombite is trying really hard to be more tolerant. I’ve heard it before though, “I have friends who are zombies/vampires/demons/reanimated corpses.” She’s got a long way to go. Being tolerant is not muzzling your neighbors. You offer cookies and tea to your human neighbors, why not offer a brain bite to your zombie friends? Or a nibble and sup to the vampires you know?
Then we read about her favorite vampire movies. That’s all well and good, but she seems to have neglected one important fact about those fiascos. Every movie she mentions ends up with multiple vampire deaths. Doesn’t she like happy endings? Oh, Candice Boutilier, it is I who asks who you are. I’m glad your eyes are opening. I am only a wee vampire trying to get along in a human world.
Columbia Basin is a long way from Dread Falls, so I can only hope the pay it forward virus continues to spread. Maybe someday we’ll all get along with synthetic blood in ketchup bottles and Jello-mold brains. Humans can continue eating their burgers and fries.

Read Candice Boutilier’s column.

PS. Candice, you misspelled my name. There’s no space between the Lily and the Bat. It’s LilyBat, like my sister is DeMonica.

Now here’s a link (if you don’t already know it) to a zombie who has very little interest in brains. She’s mostly concerned about her beauty. She needs to eat more. She wasting away. Betty Bones’ blog is all over the place. I don’t think she knows what she wants to talk about. She’s a little thick, and she’s a little thin.

My best friend, Abby Cadaver will have a fit if I don’t mention her blog. She’d probably withhold her famous desserts. She works pretty hard on her reviews, so check it out.

White zombies can’t jump

George Romero had it right from the beginning, and he’s sticking to his guns. He believes zombies can’t run, and he’s right. Betty Bones is a zombie, and she can’t beat me in a race across Dread Falls. Granted she’s a bit further along the decomposition path, but I know other zombies, and they are like molasses.
Here’s a link to the article I found. Kudos to George Romero for truth.

Ever met a zombie?

It’s local news, though it’s not my local. I found this amusing article that reads more like an editorial. You may enjoy it. It’s chock full of anti-zombie racism, and exploitation of the word in commercial use. People like this deserve to have their brains munched. I’m sure it would make a tasty appetizer smothered in ketchup.
Forward the article to all your friends of “folklore,” and maybe the Herald staff writer, Candice Boutilier will hear from a few. I hear if you smear manure in your locks, zombies won’t bite you in the head. Maybe she’ll try that.

Zombie self-defense

This is a message to all the zombies out there. I found this article on how to fight and kill zombies. What a terrible thing! You must stand up for your rights. Read this article for inside secrets on how humans plan to do away with you. The more you know!