The old bat

Old bat, Tanner is 23.

Yesterday was Tanner’s birthday, and I forgot to send him a card.
If you get a chance, please send regards to Tanner, the oldest known bat at the Cranbrook Institute of Science. He’s 23.
Clicky.

R.I.P. Eartha Kitt

Eartha Kitt was the sexiest Catwoman ever.

I’m not linking this directly to a news story because it would be late to the funeral anyway. I just want to make it known that I hope Eartha Kitt will rest in peace.
Eartha Kitt was a great actor, singer, and performer. She captivated me with her kitty cat styling, and her smooth personality. She was mature beyond her years when she was young, and youthful and sexy beyond belief when she was old. I’ll miss you, kitty.

The YouTube link to her performance of “I want to be Evil,” is embedded below.

Eeeyeeew, LICE!

This lice does more than make your head itch. These creatures were caught in lobster traps, and I guess no one considered eating them… because lobsters are SO much more attractive and appetizing.
They are going on display in England. If any of my UK readers happen upon this exhibit, I'd love to hear from you about it.
Check the full story.

Charity to fight bad blood

Care to stay in a haunted hotel for charity? If you live in the UK, or expect to visit, get your details here. It's for a great cause. Proceeds go to fight Leukemia. Nobody likes bad blood.
For an entry form, text “FUN Crewe” and your name and address to 60003, register online at www.anthonynolan.org.uk or call 0151 428 3992.
I’d love to hear from anyone who takes part in the March 7, 2009 event.

We Kill You — They really do

Sure, it’s not bogey news, but whose blog is this, anyway? I had to post this stuff because it is just that cool. Besides, I report on that that is reported on.
Check out this Indie Toy Spotlight at Fear.net that I found. The toys are monsters from WKY or We Kill You. Freakin’ sweet.
Go directly to their site to look at their stuff. You can even buy cool We Kill You stuff. Get that Christmas shopping started early!

Pur-Pur-fect

Quasimodo x 2. These or this is the most adorable little kitty-kitty! I wonder if there should be a special place for all these kinds of special kitties who need special attention.
Quasimodo was born with two faces, and both are adorable.

More in this link.

Tampa tamper

So much for current news. This is a sea monster “news” is a couple of years old, but I never got the email. I wish I had! What a beautiful creature. If only it was real. It’s actually a sculpture by artist, Juan Cabana. I have a theory on artists who make monsters, but I'll keep it to myself ;)
Explanatory article here.

Why did the spider cross the road?

To catch the chicken!

This is the kind of creature that crawls into your nightmares… um, not mine though.
Check out this giant spider eating a bird:
Clickity!

The Bat Man, man

This guy is my hero. He’s helping the bats by keeping abandoned caves and mines accessible to them while keeping nasty humans out.

MSNBC article here.

Chiller Theater Returns!!!

I haven’t posted an Bogey News lately. My bad. I’ve been busy preparing for Halloween.

Guess what. Chiller Theater is coming back! If you are in the NY area, or get WPIX Channel 11, they are bringing back Chiller Theater! Remember that six fingered hand that emerged from a puddle of blood to eat the letters in “CHILLER?” Then it would sink back down with that eerie “Chiller,” voice. They always played the best scary movies!

Here’s a link to the Channel 11 WPIX announcement:
http://www.wpix.com/wpix_chiller_theatre

Also, here’s a link to the original Chiller opening:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux3laLkueZk

We all know all YouTube links don’t necessarily last, so here’s a search for more:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=chiller&search_type=&aq=f

Home invasion cancelled

Tours of Sequiota Cave in Missouri have been canceled due to the discovery of bats. Well, duh. Bats live in caves. They probably wanted to make themselves more apparent to all the frizzy-haired soccer moms and their beastly children who wanted to peek at their digs.
Stay out of my cave! I’m not even telling you where it is!
Clicky for article.

This sheet has holes in it

Part of me doesn’t even want to feed the machine with publiciy mentions like this, but I like Ricky Gervais enough that I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not involved. After all, chances are his staff and crew are setting him up to make this look even more authentic. Maybe they don’t trust his acting ability?
According to this article at starpulse.com, Ricky Gervais was spooked during press junkets for his new movie, Ghost Town (of course). They were being held at the reputedly haunted Roosevelt Hotel.
Gervais wasn’t even involved in any of they haunting events, which if you ask me, sound like hype from giddy production people. For the record, ghosts have had no physical interaction for a long time. It’s not likely they’ll be pushing anyone out of bed. That must have been one ugly production assistant.

/CAT\

Cats seem to be the topic of the hour these days. Here’s a cat who has “wings.” His owner was so sure that the cat would fly away he clipped one of the “wings” off. If you love something tie it up, and keep it in the basement, right? What a wacko.
Actually these flaps have a scientific explanation, but I’m going to believe they were wings. This way I can feel vindicated in paying the owner a visit in the middle of the night. Idiot blood is the sweetest blood there is.

CAAAAT

Yoda, the 4-eared cat.

After finding so many dead rubber monsters lately in the news, it’s a pleasure to dig this up. A four eared cat. The Sun hasn’t much to say about him, but click if you like.
I wish I could adopt this cat. He’s absolutely gorgeous!

Cold storage Bigfoot

I, personally think this is a hoax. I know Bigfoot, and he recently lost a lot of weight with Jenny Craig. There’s no way Bigfoot weighs over 500 lbs.
This is either his older brother, Bigfat or a kwyjibo who overdosed on minoxidil.

Clicky for CNN article. It’s not news, It’s CNN.

The last of the Montauk Monster

This is the last I’ll be saying about this creature. The poor thing needs to rest in peace… unless of course it’s a movie prop.
If you’d like to continue to follow this story, I found this site that is dedicated to it… along with several banner ads :/

Acid-wash genes

Maybe the reason you like horror movies, and you can laugh off the fright and gore, is that you have a specific gene activated. Or more accurately, deactivated. Turns out humans had a gene to scare more easily. Between fight and flight, flight made more sense for survival.
In other words your DNA has not advanced if you don’t like horror. Makes sense to me.
Read the interesting article.

Grim Reaper identity theft

The Grim Reaper doesn’t like it when you try to impersonate him, so you better believe he’ll get his revenge on you if you go around cutting your lawn with a sickle. I guess since he wasn’t donning a cloak, old Grimmy let the man live.
Clicky.

Handsomest Vampire

My poll results for the handsomest vampire are in. Note that Brad Pitt was left out of the poll. That was intentional. I didn’t want a slaughter.
Here are the results:

25% • Christopher Lee
25% • Kiefer Sutherland
14% • James Marsters
10% • Bela Lugosi
10% • David Boreanaz
7% • Wesley Snipes
7% • Max Schreck
0% • George Hamilton
0% • John Carradine

2% error.

Actually, I think it’s 100% error because I believe Max Schreck is the most handsome vampire ever. I can live with Christopher Lee as the winner, though, so I take back what I said about 100% error.

Rabies, rabies, stick your head in gravy!

According to this article, 38 people in Venezuela have died from being bitten by vampire bats. They think the bats may have had rabies, but I think the “victims” are faking it. Everyone is hating on the vampires these days.

Ghostly graduate

Here's a link to a video report showing what is supposed to be a ghost. The report is a little flaky, but the video is interesting. They think it’s the ghost of a former high school student who has come back to haunt a teacher. That, or it's the shadow of the bat. I don’t think it’s actually a ghost or a bat. I think it’s a shadow person from a different dimension who’s just messing around.

Ants in a scanner

The Building of an Ant Colony A massive colony of ants builds their lair inside guy`s printer/scanner.

Eeeeeyyyeeewwww! Avert your eyes if you don’t like bugs. Here’s a video showing a creepy-crawly find in the scanner part of one of those all-in-one printer thingies.

Grim Undertakings

Seems like everyone’s jumping on the “ghost hunting” band-wagon these days. The good news is anyone jumping on is not really likely to be doing it for the monetary value of it as much as the thrill that is present for people who are interested in ghostly happenings.
Truly, ghostly happenings are mostly boring. They throw the worst parties, and they’re not very gracious guests. I can’t remember the last time one offered to pay for dinner.

Anyway, I have to give some kudos to The Chronicle Herald since it seems as if I find a lot of good information in their features and articles. This one about Grim Undertakings based in Nova Scotia was particularly entertaining and informative.

And if you find their studies interesting, I’ve done the Googling for you. Here’s their official site:
Grim Undertakings.

Montauk monster follow-up

I’m getting mixed messages about this poor thing. According to this most recent article the original photo set was shot by Jenna Hewitt. So why did my link yesterday give credit for the photo to Alanna Nevitski? Well that's neither here nor there. Credit schmedit.

What I’m really bringing this back for is this:

1 • Apparently the remains are still in the hands of someone less secret than the Men in Black.
2 • I never even made the Plum Island connection! There have been rumors for decades that there’s more to Plum Island than meets the eye.

Montauk Monster

Photo by Alanna Nevitski

Holy crow! I have no idea who this fella was. He must go to different monster meetings, Apparently he or she washed ashore on a Montauk beach, and this is the only photo (that I know of). Some creepy old taxidermist supposedly took it away, but you and I know it was the Men in Black or the FBI.
Read more about the Montauk Monster.

It’s sad to think how it died. Please comment if you know anything more about this...

It ain’t cool news

Ain’t It Cool News is reporting that MTV is doing a remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Are there really no writers out there with bright imaginations for new ideas, or are producers so lazy that they will only invest in existing franchises?
Before you know it The Rocky Horror Picture Show (redeux) will inspire a new Broadway Musical. Now that would be original. Not.

I see dead people seeing you seeing me

Of course we’ve all wondered, so why wouldn’t someone have thought of writing a book about it until now? Do Dead People Watch You Shower and other questions you’ve been all but dying to ask a medium by Concetta Bertoldi should be an interesting read. I’m not sold on mediums, but who am I to judge? I’m a vampire.
She sure seems to know a lot… or at least she thinks she does… or at least she believes you think she does. Either way, it should be entertaining or insightful… or both.
Check out this excerpt at MSNBC.com

Reborn looks undead

Eeeeew. I’ve never seen these before, but even I’M creeped out by the Reborn Babies. They are designed to look real, and they really are amazingly done. Real works of art, but I don’t think I want to know any of the collectors.

Check it.

Bella Cullen vampire girls

I have to admit, the music sounds a little “folksy” for my taste. They should try adding some Gregorian Chant and electronics…
BUT they are rockin’ along, and singing their song, these girls from the Bella Cullen Project. I don’t think they think they’re vampires, but they sure have an appreciation. I never did see them at any of the meetings. I can appreciate their song, “Sexy Vampire.”
Click here to read their interview and see a short video. Judge for yourself.
You go girls! I can’t believe I just said that :P

Swarm and fuzzy inside

Eeeeyyyeeeww! I love it! Kids are making jewelry out of dead cicadas. It’s the plague that makes your body move. It’s the infectious grooves!
Click for link.

Tasmanian Devil spotted

Cryptomundo is reporting that the Tasmanian Devil has been sighted. Big deal, you can see him any time on the WB Network :P
Clicky for Crytomundo.

Is a bat in a bra a brat?

A woman found a bat in her bra. Story finished, unless you want to comment on her love life (or the lack of it ;)
Read the rest here.

Hypocrites suck more than vampires

I’m sure I make mistakes all the time, but I still love to point out hypocrisy and bigotry whenever I see it. Here’s an editorial requesting that Emo go away along with Punk. It’s likely written by a bitter human who forgot they belonged to some unwelcome movement or genre when they were young. Or maybe they’re just boring.
I found the ad placement to be pretty comical. Right next to this article calling for the homogenization of young culture is an ad for vampirefreaks.com. I’m posting the link, but without their click-through code. Maybe I should become an affiliate myself.

Can they forecast ratings?

I know what you’re thinking. They already did this in the US. But it was pretty much a flop. Now Australia is getting into the act. Maybe they can do a better job. Here comes a reality show to find the best clairvoyant. Stinks for the contestants — they already know who the winner will be. G'day!
Clicky.

Astro-peep

The creepiest candy ever made has been launched into space. The Adler Planetarium has launched a Peep 19 miles into space. The article is accompanied by an entertaining time-lapse video.
I wonder what happens at 30,000 feet if the thing flies into a commercial jet engine.

The bats Ottawa bit him sooner

I’ve been in a cave for a week, so I’m glad to be back with a story that made me chuckle. Bats are not pets, and parents who let their kids put bats in cages are not good parents. I can’t be any more clear. Bats, and wild animals — nature in general — these are not yours. They do not belong to you. The “bored” Ottawa, Kansas kid who found some bats on his lawn doesn’t even act like he’s learned a thing.
Judge for yourself. Clicky for the article with bonus video report.

Prince prints have hints of splints

This has to be the coolest body feature (aside from flight ability of course). Scientists have found out that some frogs have claws beneath their skin. They pop through their skin like Wolverine of X-Men fame. The mistake the scientists make is that they think the frogs use the claws to fight against predators and enemies; but in actuality they use the claws to cut off warts.

Clicky for article.

Kraken the case

I found this fascinating article in The Sydney Morning Herald online. It’s about the creatures of the ocean that have not yet been discovered. Somehow they arrive on the seemingly arbitrary number of 18 undiscovered large creatures. I know of at least 27 that you don’t know, and I don’t even attend the annual monster meetings. One creature I can’t wait to meet is the giant starfish.
Looks like they are giving up on Nessie too. Good for her. She was about to shave her head and smash some Scottish SUVs with her umbrella. She craves attention, but despises it at the same time.

The Edge of weird

The Boston Herald’s The Edge is trying to drum up tourism. It’s a good idea to visit Massachusetts for their paranormal activity and strange attractions. ‘Weird Massachusetts,’ author Jeff Belanger is a collector of these places, and stories. Great series of books.

Read the Edge column for some interesting tidbits.
I think I’ll go for a swim in Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.

Louis de Pointe du Lac and Angelina

Well, isn’t this special? Angelina Jolie is curious about vampires. Read the article here. Now we know why she’s keeping Brad Pitt all to herself. She’s thinking Brad Pitt is actually Louis de Pointe du Lac.

Mande barung me all the way to the jungle

My family took in an exchange student from India last year. His name was Madhu, and he was one of the elusive mande barung — the black and white Big Foot of India. He was a nice guy. Didn’t say much about his home, but he was okay to have around the house. He actually helped to build the tree-house in the backyard.
He sent me this article with video links yesterday. He and his family were playing games with a fellow named Dipu Marak because the commission of tourism there paid him to “be seen.” He’s hoping it doesn’t affect his privacy, but then again he’s a real ham.

Click to see the article.

Anti-zombites can change

Well, I’m flabbergasted. Recently I got a comment on one of my posts from an editor to one of the columns to which I linked. That was a pretty weird sentence. Glad I don’t have an editor to get on my case about it. I thought that would be that, and I could go on in my solitude, simply sending a few articles your way. It’s not the way life goes (or the way unlife goes).
The columnist has decided to write a follow-up, and I must commend her for her efforts. This anti-zombite is trying really hard to be more tolerant. I’ve heard it before though, “I have friends who are zombies/vampires/demons/reanimated corpses.” She’s got a long way to go. Being tolerant is not muzzling your neighbors. You offer cookies and tea to your human neighbors, why not offer a brain bite to your zombie friends? Or a nibble and sup to the vampires you know?
Then we read about her favorite vampire movies. That’s all well and good, but she seems to have neglected one important fact about those fiascos. Every movie she mentions ends up with multiple vampire deaths. Doesn’t she like happy endings? Oh, Candice Boutilier, it is I who asks who you are. I’m glad your eyes are opening. I am only a wee vampire trying to get along in a human world.
Columbia Basin is a long way from Dread Falls, so I can only hope the pay it forward virus continues to spread. Maybe someday we’ll all get along with synthetic blood in ketchup bottles and Jello-mold brains. Humans can continue eating their burgers and fries.

Read Candice Boutilier’s column.

PS. Candice, you misspelled my name. There’s no space between the Lily and the Bat. It’s LilyBat, like my sister is DeMonica.

Now here’s a link (if you don’t already know it) to a zombie who has very little interest in brains. She’s mostly concerned about her beauty. She needs to eat more. She wasting away. Betty Bones’ blog is all over the place. I don’t think she knows what she wants to talk about. She’s a little thick, and she’s a little thin.

My best friend, Abby Cadaver will have a fit if I don’t mention her blog. She’d probably withhold her famous desserts. She works pretty hard on her reviews, so check it out.

Haunting holidays.

I found this column that alerted me to a great resource for your next vacation. There is a travel firm called Haunting Breaks that can set you up in a stay at a haunted castle, morbid mill or eerie inn.

Click for column.
Click for Haunting Breaks.

Enjoy your next vacation with a headless ghost. At least they won’t peek at you in the shower.

“Make sure you get the heart” will be mine.

Not really news — more like olds, but it’s history with attitude; and attitude is something I can respect. Check out Cracked’s list of tough last words. You’ll want to change your powder-puff ways and face your demise with nerve. Click here.

Something bugged me about this list, however. No women. Is that the editor’s fault? Maybe. I did a search to find something with more relevance to us grrls. The article is a tad old, but you get the picture. Women are just as tough as men, and are often overlooked. Click for last words and stories of unheralded heroines.

That’s more like it. Now where can I find those famous last words of brave monsters and vampires?

White zombies can’t jump

George Romero had it right from the beginning, and he’s sticking to his guns. He believes zombies can’t run, and he’s right. Betty Bones is a zombie, and she can’t beat me in a race across Dread Falls. Granted she’s a bit further along the decomposition path, but I know other zombies, and they are like molasses.
Here’s a link to the article I found. Kudos to George Romero for truth.

Not news fit to print

Urg. Whose blog is this anyway? I’m supposed to say something about the fact that I’m in a poster print portrait on deviantArt. Woopeedoo. Go see it buy it bla bla bla. Oh, and JITTERBUTTER™ something or other. Some news page. The news has been dry of bogeys and creeps for a week, and this is what I have to post. Apologies to the hardcore bogey news junkies.

Click for me!
Click for the other chicks.

No photo Yeti, Migoi make you a sketch

Wildlife painter Polyanna Pickering has created what she calls a “photo-fit” of the elusive Yeti creature. I can tell by the sketch she was trying to draw Eddy Yeti, but it really doesn’t look like him all that much. He’s actually very photogenic, and quite a ham, so I’m not sure what the big deal is about getting a real photo. Try calling him for an appointment. He’s in the book.
Linky to the article.

Note to Martin Charlesworth:
Is photo credit really necessary when all you did was photograph the sketch?

Howl he ever be cured?

Pruthviraj Patil has ’Werewolf Syndrome.’

I guess my news search skills are failing. This article is a few weeks old, but I’m sure you’ll find it interesting enough. Here is a story about a boy from India who suffers from a syndrome that makes him look like a werewolf. Personally, I think he looks too cute to resemble a werewolf. He looks more like a werespaniel to me. He’s hoping to find a cure because electrolysis is apparently not working. I bet he’s a crackerjack with a Frisbee.
Fetch the article here.

Gas for blood

I’ve got some competition. There’s no way I can match this. The Red Cross must be getting really thirsty. They’ve got a lot of vampires to feed, so they devised a new campaign to offer gas to feed your SUV in exchange for blood to feed their needs. Read about it here.
I can’t offer anything that good.

Skeleton in the office closet

Want to buy a house complete with a skeleton entombed in the wall of the basement? Search no more. Your house is here in York, England. The house was built in the Georgian era when it was found that the basement contained the remnants of Roman burial chamber. Because of its historical significance, the skeleton is likely going to remain in place resting in peace as it should.

Buffy the serial killer class

Do you live in or near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania? Maybe next semester you can take a class dedicated to the study of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
Don’t they already have serial killer classes in the criminal justice major?

Amy Hauntedhouse

Well, what do you know? Apparently Amy Winehouse has met a good friend of mine named Henry.
Clicky.

Driving with spirit

The new fashion of excuses for poor driving skills is to blame a ghost. Nice. Isn’t it just like a mortal to blame their ineptitude on the “paranormal.”
Here’s the story explaining how there are plenty of accidents on a certain stretch of road in the UK. Nothing against Abby Cadaver and her British vocal cords, but maybe it’s because they’re all driving on the wrong side of the road.

Fabulous thunderbirds

If you don’t know what thunderbirds are, here’s a quick overview that may get you up to speed.
Maybe it was the inspiration for one of my favorite flying giant monsters, Rodan (not to be confused with the sculptor Rodin ;)
I’ll sure keep my eyes out for these giant birds of prey, though. I wouldn’t want to be snatched while I was out flying to find a drink.

Crocodiles rock

I can’t read a word of it, but here are some great pictures of the cutest little baby crocodiles hatching. A cropped sample is above.
Somebody let me know if you find a similar link that I can read.

Blown away by some people’s stupidity

In the aftermath of the cyclone that recently ravaged Burma, people are claiming they are hearing the ghosts calling for help according to this article. Ever consider they are real people you just can’t find? Ghosts don’t get stuck in physical places very often.
Well, the bright side is the people who are stuck are sitting ducks for local vampire bats.

Mugged by a ghost

Here’s an enjoyable read about a few encounters with a ghost that took place over the span of a decade. It’s not much of a haunting, but an entertaining story at least.
Personally I don’t think the lady has all her marbles, but what do I know? I’m just a fictional illustrated vampire, right? Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep.

Recycle your used parts

This story is more of interest to our good friend, Abby Cadaver, but human mortals should be aware of it too. I first read about this process in the book, STIFF by Mary Roach.
When you die, your body can be pressure cooked and pulverized into a tasty dust that’s pretty good on spaghetti as a dietary replacement for Romano cheese. No polluting furnace is involved.
Clicky.
Just remember to be sure a body is actually dead before you squish it into the processor. Many of us just look dead.

New spider for Vampire Blues man

There’s a new spider in town, and it reckons there ain’t room enough in this town for the both of us. How’s my Southern Man accent?
A Scientist named Jason Bond discovered a new arachnid in 2007, and has the honor of naming the new species of Trapdoor spider. It’s called Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi after Bond’s favorite musician, Neil Young. Did his band have eight members or something?
Read the Yahoo article. Good luck in your Google image search. I couldn’t find a Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi.

Granny ghost doesn’t take the stairs

Ooooh, creeeepy. This video even gave me chills It’s worth watching the entire thing. Granny ghost follows a young fellow out of an elevator, and it’s caught on a security camera.

Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepie too?

Want to make a quick $50,000 for exploiting a monster? I don’t. I prefer to leave other monsters in peace. Go ahead and get a photo of Pepie, but don’t blame me when you get gobbled up.
Link to story.

The girl is a vampire, sent to drain

There’s hope yet for the mortals. A vampire film won the top prize at the seventh Tribeca Film Festival. The Swedish film Let the Right One In is about a boy who falls for a vampire girl. It’s not me. I don’t have a high tolerance for humans. Read more here.

Creature from the remake lagoon

One of my favorite classic monster movies is being remade, though it seems it may take some time. Breck Eisner plans to revisit The Creature from the Black Lagoon. I’m not sure I love the idea that he’s not going to be portrayed as a monster. Are humans really that afraid of monsters? They’re also not casting a real monster for the part. Here we go again with CGI taking jobs away from all of us. Read the Shock Til You Drop article here.

You can’t spell Luv without UV

How cool is this? Female Jumping Spiders can see ultra-violet, and they get turned on by it! Every night must be like a spider rave for these lovely creatures.
Link to the Discover article.

Channeling the paranormal

A new network is being launched in June in Great Britain. Let us know how it goes! Clicky for linky. I sure wouldn’t mind a channel dedicated to the paranormal. Then again, weren’t we promised a horror channel? What ever happened to that?

This little piggie returned from the dead

Here’s a strange medical miracle story that will gross you all out, hands down. An old man running a hobby shop cut off his finger with the propeller of a model airplane, but it grew back! There’s a video in the link. Not for the squeamish.

Legless lizard? Yeah, that’s called a snake

Scientists have discovered some new species recently. Goody for them. The more measly creatures they find the less chance they’ll run across some of our friends in the crypto-zoo realm.
There are some interesting animals in this article; but come on fellas, a lizard without legs? Is that anything like a hairless ape? We already have a name for those. Dummkopfs.

Ever met a zombie?

It’s local news, though it’s not my local. I found this amusing article that reads more like an editorial. You may enjoy it. It’s chock full of anti-zombie racism, and exploitation of the word in commercial use. People like this deserve to have their brains munched. I’m sure it would make a tasty appetizer smothered in ketchup.
Forward the article to all your friends of “folklore,” and maybe the Herald staff writer, Candice Boutilier will hear from a few. I hear if you smear manure in your locks, zombies won’t bite you in the head. Maybe she’ll try that.

Spider plague, spider plague, does whatever a spider plague does

Ooooh, creepy! This is what I like to hear. There's a plague of Redback spiders rampaging through a hospital down under. However, those barbaric human rottlers are scheming to eliminate them despite the painful irony that they are in a medical building with an anti-venom readily available. I'm glad those bites hurt.
Read the article here… if you dare.

Ton of skellies

Something weird happened in Potters Bar, England some time ago, and construction workers are finding the clues. This link takes you to a story that will surely have follow-up soon. Someone was having an addition put on to their cottage when they started to find skeletons under the floor. Don’t ask me how they know, but they expect to find up to 40 of them by the time they finish digging. Could be foul play — could be a grave site. Either way, where there be skellies, there be ghosts; and now they’re disturbed and agitated.

The moon changes everything

We all know that during the full moon anything can happen — especially the strangest things. I found an interesting article that explains it here. So next time you get chills and the hair on your neck stands up, keep telling yourself it’s static electricity. You may never feel the fatal blow.

A toast to the dead

I’m not sure why it’s being reported that a ghost was floating around a bar. All they wanted was a couple of drinks to take the edge off.

Home invasion for charity

There’s no information on how you can volunteer, but there is a charity in Wales looking for people to spend the night in a haunted castle. It’s at this link. Since it’s in the guise of a good cause, the volunteers’ intrusion on the home of over 20 ghosts will be overlooked… mostly. There’s at least one ghost who lives there who will not cooperate. She plans to rattle chains, and maybe even say, “Boo!” once or twice. That’s supposed to be sarcastic in case you missed it.

Villainous journalism

Here’s a short article on the greatest movie villains. Somehow Dracula, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Hannibal Lecter made the list. I thought they were good guys.
The writer, Ethan Sacks is obviously the real villain here. Not only did he call our Halloween hero Mike Myers (he’s not the comedian, dummy), but he could have found any number of official sources that would have given him the correct spelling of Hannibal Lecter. It’s not Lechter. I wonder if they’ll bother to fix that for the archives.
A bit of semi-related trivia: Dead issues like this would be forever archived in the old days when printed newspapers were filed away for reference in a place called the morgue.

Brainiac in a size 18

People are finally catching on that Bigfoot is smarter than them. Here’s a good argument for it. I keep hearing that it’s a stereotype to say they are smart, but I know for a fact that they are really good at math, science, and remembering where they buried your bones.
I have friends who are Bigfoots, and they all beat me at Scrabble, so I guess vocabulary is another strong point.

Wales at the moon

I don’t usually care much for entertainment news, but this is worth mentioning: Anthony Hopkins is filming a remake of Lon Chaney, Jr.’s original The Wolf Man. I hope they don’t ruin it. I’d hate to see his Hannibal Lecter character bleed into this role. Mmm, bloody rolls.
The article is more hype than anything. The headline and first paragraph mention fans swarming the set, but it looks more like a press release. Can anyone from Wales verify this?

The sound of white-nose

This isn’t hot off the presses, but I want to make sure there is awareness that our bats are dying. Scientists still haven’t figured out the exact cause, but some blame the pesticides you humans use… and I’m the monster here, right? What a bowl of rot!
Here’s the link for a good cry if you are capable of it.

Shanghai surprise

Attack of the killer tomato ghost. Not so. Just another bozo who jumped to conclusions about what he saw, but this is an amusing story. A ‘female ghost’ (which is always scarier) got into the back of a cab, and the driver ran off screaming bloody murder.
Ghosts think they’re the only ones who can’t get a cab, but we vampires have a hard time too. It’s not like we don’t tip well, so I don’t get it.

The Honey Monster

Some dork just changed his name to Honey Monster because he loves Sugar Puffs cereal. He’s eaten a bowl of this cereal per day since he was 9 years old. Abby Cadaver loves her sweets too, but you don’t see her changing her name to “Yummy Chocolate” or something.
To start with, the guy isn’t even a monster. He’s a human. Isn’t there some rule against this sort of thing? I should change my name to “Stupid Human” to see what kind of reaction I get.
Don’t take my word for it. See for yourself.

Yowie Kazowee, he’s naked!

Listen up, humans. It’s hard enough to swallow the idea that most of you don’t believe in us “monsters,” but for those of you who do believe, and want to prove it — is it really necessary to catch us at our most awkward moments?
The Yowie is Australia’s Bigfoot. You might say he’s the Bigfoot from down under. It‘s totally not necessary to catch his down under parts on film, and then post the picture on the internet. Thankfully all they got was his rear end.
Here’s the linky, but you won’t see his winky.

Zombie self-defense

This is a message to all the zombies out there. I found this article on how to fight and kill zombies. What a terrible thing! You must stand up for your rights. Read this article for inside secrets on how humans plan to do away with you. The more you know!

You are who your friends are

Here they go again. They’re confusing the Lizard Man with Bigfoot. For one, that’s like confusing the Geiko Gecko with Curious George. Two, Actually, the Lizard “Man” they are talking about is a woman. Three, they have names. Judging by the region, they’re talking about Elizabeth Squamata and Frank Sasquatch.
Lizzy told me about that day she attacked that van. It was a case of road rage, and she’s sorry. The van cut her off when she was trying to change lanes. She had her signal on, and the guy actually sped up causing her to miss her exit.
Anyway, here’s their confusing story. Turns out Frank was in the area that day. Maybe that’s why the humans are mixed up.

New house bonus: Ghosts!

A family in Italy is suing the previous owners of their home. Why? Because it has ghosts. Seems to me the only thing they can sue for is the fact that the sellers obviously didn’t own the home in the first place.
I see this kind of thing happen all the time. The ghosts residing there get called “poltergeists” and such over the fact that they don’t like intruders in their home. Where are the ghost police? Where is the Ghost Housing Authority? The humans living there, of course, make this about them. Those people have got nerve. Read about it here, and tell me what you think.

Mourning the Bats

Sad news about bats. We’ve all heard about the bees dying off, and that story has gone the way of the birds, but now we are losing our bats. Who is going to eat all the pesky insects if our beautiful bats disappear? Renfield can only do so much.

Ghoulish Wedding

I normally despise love and romance, and cringe at the idea that this is the first link in my Bogey News Blog, but this has to be seen to be believed. The news is a few weeks old already, so don't try to bite my head off over this, I'll just bite back.
Childhood sweethearts Julie Williams, 45, and Dylon Holroyd, 49 had already married and had lives separate from each other, but their gloomy personalities brought them back together in a goth style wedding where the bride arrived at the ceremony in a coffin.